This month has been so packed full of stuff it has been CRAZY! We have made it through, but I haven't had much free time. We took the week of homeschooling this week just because I needed it. Between making Halloween costumes, company gatherings, Halloween itself, mandatory dinners life has been flying by.
One nice thing we have a formal dinning out tomorrow where we get to dress up and the best part NO kids. We are leaving them overnight to get some much needed alone time.WOHOOOO!
Not next week but the following week we will start a new work out plan P90X yes I am crazy, but it should be fun ( i hope).
I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween and I post again if I survive the craziness of P90X!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Forgiveness
While I was working out at the gym today 7x70 Time by Chris August came on my IPOD. I heard this song for the first time last march and had to pull over cause I couldn't stop crying. It struck a chord with me and I believe it has a great message.
I come from a divorced family and Dad who just wasn't there. Unlike the song there was no screaming and yelling, but my family did fall apart. When I was eight my Dad walked out of our family, he refused to get help for his alcholisim, so he left. I can close my eyes and I am right back there sitting on the couch crying with my mom and brothers bot really knowing what all that meant.
My Dad was never consistent in our lives he would pop in and out, he would say he would try and make plays and graduations but something else always came up. From the time I was 8 my heart was broken, and there were times where the hurt was so much, the doubt of myself was so heavy that I thought I would be crushed.
I am thankful for my Uncles who stepped up, and showed me and my brothers love and did their best to fill in the gap. I am thankful for different adult men in my life, who encouraged me and took interest in me as an adopted daughter. I am thankful for the Friend ( I can't even remember her name now) who invited me to church where I learned about my heavenly Father who would not let me down, who loves me unconditionally and who always forgives me.
I am doing alright I have two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me. I made it through and now I am raising my own children, who are lucky enough to have a father who will always be around.
Six years ago I started a journey in really getting to the root of ( for lack of a better term) " My daddy issues" I am still working through things but I can say I have learned to forgive my father, and it was the most freeing thing I ever did. For the longest time I wanted to sit with him and ask him "why?" hoping for what, an apology, I am not sure. Any time I would get close to the subject he would avoid it. Now I know I don't need an explanation, he will be accountable to God for his actions not me. I am able to forgive him. I am still forgiving him for new stuff that I find that has been buried deep down for so long.
The day I was able to finally forgive him for the big thing, the hard thing, him leaving it was so freeing. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. Things changed I am able to be okay with where he is at as far as being in mine and my boys lives. I have never told him that I forgive him because I don't think I need to right now. Mainly because at this point I don't think he even knows what effect he has had and that I even needed to forgive him. I pray one day he will find God, be sober and when he does and if he asks for my forgiveness, I will be able to look him in the face and say " Dad I already have!"
I come from a divorced family and Dad who just wasn't there. Unlike the song there was no screaming and yelling, but my family did fall apart. When I was eight my Dad walked out of our family, he refused to get help for his alcholisim, so he left. I can close my eyes and I am right back there sitting on the couch crying with my mom and brothers bot really knowing what all that meant.
My Dad was never consistent in our lives he would pop in and out, he would say he would try and make plays and graduations but something else always came up. From the time I was 8 my heart was broken, and there were times where the hurt was so much, the doubt of myself was so heavy that I thought I would be crushed.
I am thankful for my Uncles who stepped up, and showed me and my brothers love and did their best to fill in the gap. I am thankful for different adult men in my life, who encouraged me and took interest in me as an adopted daughter. I am thankful for the Friend ( I can't even remember her name now) who invited me to church where I learned about my heavenly Father who would not let me down, who loves me unconditionally and who always forgives me.
I am doing alright I have two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me. I made it through and now I am raising my own children, who are lucky enough to have a father who will always be around.
Six years ago I started a journey in really getting to the root of ( for lack of a better term) " My daddy issues" I am still working through things but I can say I have learned to forgive my father, and it was the most freeing thing I ever did. For the longest time I wanted to sit with him and ask him "why?" hoping for what, an apology, I am not sure. Any time I would get close to the subject he would avoid it. Now I know I don't need an explanation, he will be accountable to God for his actions not me. I am able to forgive him. I am still forgiving him for new stuff that I find that has been buried deep down for so long.
The day I was able to finally forgive him for the big thing, the hard thing, him leaving it was so freeing. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. Things changed I am able to be okay with where he is at as far as being in mine and my boys lives. I have never told him that I forgive him because I don't think I need to right now. Mainly because at this point I don't think he even knows what effect he has had and that I even needed to forgive him. I pray one day he will find God, be sober and when he does and if he asks for my forgiveness, I will be able to look him in the face and say " Dad I already have!"
Discipline
We have been having a challenge with our five year old and behavior. He is driving me up a wall. Since I homeschool snd we are facing a deployment in the near future we needed to find a solution to the problem quickly and because of where we live public school is not an option. Today we were given a suggestion put up s chart so he can see what level of dicipline he is at. So tonight we made a chart that looks like a stop light and a little car to mark where he is at. He is not going to be happy about this in the morning, hopfully it will be useful. We will give it thirty days hopefully there will be a change.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Courageous
Tonight my husband and I were able to to go on a date night and saw the newly released movie Courageous it is by the same people who did Fireproof and Facing the Giants. I strongly suggest going and seeing this movie, I don't think I have gone from crying, to laughing back to crying this much in any other movie.
With out giving to much away, it is basically about a group of fathers that make a decision to be the kind of Fathers God has asked them to be according to scripture. It is very moving and I don't think anyone in the packed movie theater walked out the same as they walked in.
After the movie we walked to Jamba Juice for a quick treat before heading home. As we talked about the movie, my husband shared the points that hit him the most. One of which just being around isn't enough, he feels he needs to actively engage in our sons lives.
We also talked about men being the spiritual leader of the household. That is where it hit me, do I allow my husband to lead our boys? Do I actively listen to him and God when I need to take a step back? Do i push my agenda on him, instead of suggesting something and listening to how he feels about it?
I am going to take a risk and make a HUGE generalization here but I believe many women in our culture have been taught that they shouldn't have to let go of the right to run the family. We were raised to be strong independent. How can you do that when you are being submissive?
Submission is not about being a doormat, it is about knowing only one person can lead the family and God decided it was the husband. It doesn't mean you don't have a voice, it just means when someone has to make the decision and there is no agreement, the husband has to take on that responsibility. One day our husbands will stand before God and be held accountable for their families that is why they get to lead.
The main verse they use in the movie is in Joshua "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" we have always used this as the foundation for our family. We want people to know when they interact with us that we love God. Tonight that verse took on another meaning, God wants my Husband to be the leader of the house, and for me to let him.
If we are to take " as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and try and live it not only should the outside world see God working in our family, but our sons should see what a family is in Gods design my husband leading and me following him.
With out giving to much away, it is basically about a group of fathers that make a decision to be the kind of Fathers God has asked them to be according to scripture. It is very moving and I don't think anyone in the packed movie theater walked out the same as they walked in.
After the movie we walked to Jamba Juice for a quick treat before heading home. As we talked about the movie, my husband shared the points that hit him the most. One of which just being around isn't enough, he feels he needs to actively engage in our sons lives.
We also talked about men being the spiritual leader of the household. That is where it hit me, do I allow my husband to lead our boys? Do I actively listen to him and God when I need to take a step back? Do i push my agenda on him, instead of suggesting something and listening to how he feels about it?
I am going to take a risk and make a HUGE generalization here but I believe many women in our culture have been taught that they shouldn't have to let go of the right to run the family. We were raised to be strong independent. How can you do that when you are being submissive?
Submission is not about being a doormat, it is about knowing only one person can lead the family and God decided it was the husband. It doesn't mean you don't have a voice, it just means when someone has to make the decision and there is no agreement, the husband has to take on that responsibility. One day our husbands will stand before God and be held accountable for their families that is why they get to lead.
The main verse they use in the movie is in Joshua "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" we have always used this as the foundation for our family. We want people to know when they interact with us that we love God. Tonight that verse took on another meaning, God wants my Husband to be the leader of the house, and for me to let him.
If we are to take " as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and try and live it not only should the outside world see God working in our family, but our sons should see what a family is in Gods design my husband leading and me following him.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Workng out
First of all I am so excited after over 2 weeks of not being able to go work out at the Y I get to go back on Monday :). I am so ready to be back, I have a goal of losing 10 more pounds before Oct. 28 we have a dinning out with the army, it is like a ball just a little less formal so 10 less pounds would make me look a lot better in my dress. Still have a ways to go till I hit my weight goal, but I am losing at a pretty steady pace, and I didn't gain back any weight while I was sick, can't ask for much more than that.
This weekend I was talking to a friend who just couldn't understand how I could be so focused at the gym, knowing what to do and not getting lost in the many machines they have available. There are a few things that help me stay focused in the gym. One is thankfully the Y branch closest to us is fairly small so it is not overwhelming and still has the stuff you need. Two is my husband, he knows his way around a gym and any exercise or muscle group I want to work he can help me. Then lastly is my friend Google, I figured out my overall goals and using different key words I found a workout plan that works for me. This is what I am using at the moment http://www.gymprofessor.com/gym-routines-toning-women.html I really like it and it eases you in to working out, so if you have been away from the gym for awhile ( like I had been) it is a great way to get back in to the groove.
Before you head to the gym figure out what are your fitness goals. Mine for example are loosing weight, muscle toning, and being healthy and in shape. Then figure out how many days a week you can work out. For me I can only do Monday, Wednesday and Friday at the gym. Next to Google, start using key words to help you find a work out for you. Then sit down and make sure you know how to do each thing correctly and come up with an alternative in case your gym doesn't have the machine/equipment you need. Then armed with your list so you don't forget anything head to the gym and get started. :)
I do the full toning work out 3 days a week, and cardio ( for me walking on the treadmill) I up my weight and walking pace when I feel like things are too easy, great rule of thumb if it is to easy then it is not going to do what you want it to do. I do abs once a week at home, and may up it to 2x here soon.
So with a little bit of planning and some help from Google you can use your time at the gym well. So much time can be wasted wandering from machine to machine and not doing enough reps of an exercise a good plan can help with that and make working out at the gym a breeze and the most beneficial.
This weekend I was talking to a friend who just couldn't understand how I could be so focused at the gym, knowing what to do and not getting lost in the many machines they have available. There are a few things that help me stay focused in the gym. One is thankfully the Y branch closest to us is fairly small so it is not overwhelming and still has the stuff you need. Two is my husband, he knows his way around a gym and any exercise or muscle group I want to work he can help me. Then lastly is my friend Google, I figured out my overall goals and using different key words I found a workout plan that works for me. This is what I am using at the moment http://www.gymprofessor.com/gym-routines-toning-women.html I really like it and it eases you in to working out, so if you have been away from the gym for awhile ( like I had been) it is a great way to get back in to the groove.
Before you head to the gym figure out what are your fitness goals. Mine for example are loosing weight, muscle toning, and being healthy and in shape. Then figure out how many days a week you can work out. For me I can only do Monday, Wednesday and Friday at the gym. Next to Google, start using key words to help you find a work out for you. Then sit down and make sure you know how to do each thing correctly and come up with an alternative in case your gym doesn't have the machine/equipment you need. Then armed with your list so you don't forget anything head to the gym and get started. :)
I do the full toning work out 3 days a week, and cardio ( for me walking on the treadmill) I up my weight and walking pace when I feel like things are too easy, great rule of thumb if it is to easy then it is not going to do what you want it to do. I do abs once a week at home, and may up it to 2x here soon.
So with a little bit of planning and some help from Google you can use your time at the gym well. So much time can be wasted wandering from machine to machine and not doing enough reps of an exercise a good plan can help with that and make working out at the gym a breeze and the most beneficial.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The joys of kidney stones
Last weekend I found out I have a large kidney stone stuck in my kidney. So I have been couch ridden mostly since then. So thankful for the internet to entertain me.
So because of all of this I have had to stay away from the gym for almost 2 week now. I was not happy with this I was doing so good, and I will probably have to start at the last 4 week session again. So this morning with fear that I had gained weight and the hope I was at least staying the weight I was I stepped on the scale... I am DOWN 4 pounds since Friday. Since I can only eat ramen, think that is the key. My new weight loss plan, forget the gym just eat ramen for 2 meals a day ;)
So because of all of this I have had to stay away from the gym for almost 2 week now. I was not happy with this I was doing so good, and I will probably have to start at the last 4 week session again. So this morning with fear that I had gained weight and the hope I was at least staying the weight I was I stepped on the scale... I am DOWN 4 pounds since Friday. Since I can only eat ramen, think that is the key. My new weight loss plan, forget the gym just eat ramen for 2 meals a day ;)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A decade
A decade ago the biggest tragedy hit the United State. A decade ago thousands lost their lives, mothers, fathers, children, husbands and wives. A decade ago heroic men and women risked their lives to save others. A decade ago a group of ordinary people became hero's as they brought the hijacked plane they were on down in a Pennsylvanian field.
I remember being asleep and my little brother yelling " we are being attacked" down the stairwell. I ran upstairs. I watched as the second plane crashed and the towers both fall . I remember sitting in shock thinking is this really happening here, to us. I was in High school at the time of the attacks, after sitting and crying with my family I headed off to school. The halls were empty every classroom had the same footage and on going coverage of the attacks. I found my best friend Megan told her I was going back home I couldn't watch the coverage anymore and classes were obviously not happening today.
As I headed home I saw signs for different churches that were holding prayer for the attacks that day. As was the story across the nation. I went to church that evening and have never seen it so full, strangers holding hands all praying for the same thing.
It is hard to believe it has been ten years. The new Tower is well on it's way to being built, there are memorials in the field and at ground zero.
Ten years ago as a high school student I didn't think I would have sent my husband off to war and seen most of my friends send theirs off as well. I didn't think that my 5 year old would know what and where Iraq and Afghanistan are and how to say their names. Ten years ago I didn't think I would be sharing the events of 9/11 with my son ( in a way a 5 year old can understand) to help him understand why daddy has to leave in a few months.
Today as I remember the events of that morning the things that stand out to me the most is the passengers on flight 93. They banded together, and prevented the plane from reaching it's intended target. And the first responders, many who weren't even on duty, they ran in to those burning crumbling buildings saving as many as they could. Many lost their lives trying to help others get out. Many were there for days and weeks sifting through the rubble hoping to find what they could. Those two groups are the hero's of that day, in my opinion.
Amazing how one event changes the lives of all Americans. We will never forget and we will not stop praying for the troops overseas till they all come home.
I remember being asleep and my little brother yelling " we are being attacked" down the stairwell. I ran upstairs. I watched as the second plane crashed and the towers both fall . I remember sitting in shock thinking is this really happening here, to us. I was in High school at the time of the attacks, after sitting and crying with my family I headed off to school. The halls were empty every classroom had the same footage and on going coverage of the attacks. I found my best friend Megan told her I was going back home I couldn't watch the coverage anymore and classes were obviously not happening today.
As I headed home I saw signs for different churches that were holding prayer for the attacks that day. As was the story across the nation. I went to church that evening and have never seen it so full, strangers holding hands all praying for the same thing.
It is hard to believe it has been ten years. The new Tower is well on it's way to being built, there are memorials in the field and at ground zero.
Ten years ago as a high school student I didn't think I would have sent my husband off to war and seen most of my friends send theirs off as well. I didn't think that my 5 year old would know what and where Iraq and Afghanistan are and how to say their names. Ten years ago I didn't think I would be sharing the events of 9/11 with my son ( in a way a 5 year old can understand) to help him understand why daddy has to leave in a few months.
Today as I remember the events of that morning the things that stand out to me the most is the passengers on flight 93. They banded together, and prevented the plane from reaching it's intended target. And the first responders, many who weren't even on duty, they ran in to those burning crumbling buildings saving as many as they could. Many lost their lives trying to help others get out. Many were there for days and weeks sifting through the rubble hoping to find what they could. Those two groups are the hero's of that day, in my opinion.
Amazing how one event changes the lives of all Americans. We will never forget and we will not stop praying for the troops overseas till they all come home.
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