This month has been so packed full of stuff it has been CRAZY! We have made it through, but I haven't had much free time. We took the week of homeschooling this week just because I needed it. Between making Halloween costumes, company gatherings, Halloween itself, mandatory dinners life has been flying by.
One nice thing we have a formal dinning out tomorrow where we get to dress up and the best part NO kids. We are leaving them overnight to get some much needed alone time.WOHOOOO!
Not next week but the following week we will start a new work out plan P90X yes I am crazy, but it should be fun ( i hope).
I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween and I post again if I survive the craziness of P90X!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Forgiveness
While I was working out at the gym today 7x70 Time by Chris August came on my IPOD. I heard this song for the first time last march and had to pull over cause I couldn't stop crying. It struck a chord with me and I believe it has a great message.
I come from a divorced family and Dad who just wasn't there. Unlike the song there was no screaming and yelling, but my family did fall apart. When I was eight my Dad walked out of our family, he refused to get help for his alcholisim, so he left. I can close my eyes and I am right back there sitting on the couch crying with my mom and brothers bot really knowing what all that meant.
My Dad was never consistent in our lives he would pop in and out, he would say he would try and make plays and graduations but something else always came up. From the time I was 8 my heart was broken, and there were times where the hurt was so much, the doubt of myself was so heavy that I thought I would be crushed.
I am thankful for my Uncles who stepped up, and showed me and my brothers love and did their best to fill in the gap. I am thankful for different adult men in my life, who encouraged me and took interest in me as an adopted daughter. I am thankful for the Friend ( I can't even remember her name now) who invited me to church where I learned about my heavenly Father who would not let me down, who loves me unconditionally and who always forgives me.
I am doing alright I have two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me. I made it through and now I am raising my own children, who are lucky enough to have a father who will always be around.
Six years ago I started a journey in really getting to the root of ( for lack of a better term) " My daddy issues" I am still working through things but I can say I have learned to forgive my father, and it was the most freeing thing I ever did. For the longest time I wanted to sit with him and ask him "why?" hoping for what, an apology, I am not sure. Any time I would get close to the subject he would avoid it. Now I know I don't need an explanation, he will be accountable to God for his actions not me. I am able to forgive him. I am still forgiving him for new stuff that I find that has been buried deep down for so long.
The day I was able to finally forgive him for the big thing, the hard thing, him leaving it was so freeing. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. Things changed I am able to be okay with where he is at as far as being in mine and my boys lives. I have never told him that I forgive him because I don't think I need to right now. Mainly because at this point I don't think he even knows what effect he has had and that I even needed to forgive him. I pray one day he will find God, be sober and when he does and if he asks for my forgiveness, I will be able to look him in the face and say " Dad I already have!"
I come from a divorced family and Dad who just wasn't there. Unlike the song there was no screaming and yelling, but my family did fall apart. When I was eight my Dad walked out of our family, he refused to get help for his alcholisim, so he left. I can close my eyes and I am right back there sitting on the couch crying with my mom and brothers bot really knowing what all that meant.
My Dad was never consistent in our lives he would pop in and out, he would say he would try and make plays and graduations but something else always came up. From the time I was 8 my heart was broken, and there were times where the hurt was so much, the doubt of myself was so heavy that I thought I would be crushed.
I am thankful for my Uncles who stepped up, and showed me and my brothers love and did their best to fill in the gap. I am thankful for different adult men in my life, who encouraged me and took interest in me as an adopted daughter. I am thankful for the Friend ( I can't even remember her name now) who invited me to church where I learned about my heavenly Father who would not let me down, who loves me unconditionally and who always forgives me.
I am doing alright I have two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me. I made it through and now I am raising my own children, who are lucky enough to have a father who will always be around.
Six years ago I started a journey in really getting to the root of ( for lack of a better term) " My daddy issues" I am still working through things but I can say I have learned to forgive my father, and it was the most freeing thing I ever did. For the longest time I wanted to sit with him and ask him "why?" hoping for what, an apology, I am not sure. Any time I would get close to the subject he would avoid it. Now I know I don't need an explanation, he will be accountable to God for his actions not me. I am able to forgive him. I am still forgiving him for new stuff that I find that has been buried deep down for so long.
The day I was able to finally forgive him for the big thing, the hard thing, him leaving it was so freeing. It was like a weight was lifted off of me. Things changed I am able to be okay with where he is at as far as being in mine and my boys lives. I have never told him that I forgive him because I don't think I need to right now. Mainly because at this point I don't think he even knows what effect he has had and that I even needed to forgive him. I pray one day he will find God, be sober and when he does and if he asks for my forgiveness, I will be able to look him in the face and say " Dad I already have!"
Discipline
We have been having a challenge with our five year old and behavior. He is driving me up a wall. Since I homeschool snd we are facing a deployment in the near future we needed to find a solution to the problem quickly and because of where we live public school is not an option. Today we were given a suggestion put up s chart so he can see what level of dicipline he is at. So tonight we made a chart that looks like a stop light and a little car to mark where he is at. He is not going to be happy about this in the morning, hopfully it will be useful. We will give it thirty days hopefully there will be a change.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Courageous
Tonight my husband and I were able to to go on a date night and saw the newly released movie Courageous it is by the same people who did Fireproof and Facing the Giants. I strongly suggest going and seeing this movie, I don't think I have gone from crying, to laughing back to crying this much in any other movie.
With out giving to much away, it is basically about a group of fathers that make a decision to be the kind of Fathers God has asked them to be according to scripture. It is very moving and I don't think anyone in the packed movie theater walked out the same as they walked in.
After the movie we walked to Jamba Juice for a quick treat before heading home. As we talked about the movie, my husband shared the points that hit him the most. One of which just being around isn't enough, he feels he needs to actively engage in our sons lives.
We also talked about men being the spiritual leader of the household. That is where it hit me, do I allow my husband to lead our boys? Do I actively listen to him and God when I need to take a step back? Do i push my agenda on him, instead of suggesting something and listening to how he feels about it?
I am going to take a risk and make a HUGE generalization here but I believe many women in our culture have been taught that they shouldn't have to let go of the right to run the family. We were raised to be strong independent. How can you do that when you are being submissive?
Submission is not about being a doormat, it is about knowing only one person can lead the family and God decided it was the husband. It doesn't mean you don't have a voice, it just means when someone has to make the decision and there is no agreement, the husband has to take on that responsibility. One day our husbands will stand before God and be held accountable for their families that is why they get to lead.
The main verse they use in the movie is in Joshua "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" we have always used this as the foundation for our family. We want people to know when they interact with us that we love God. Tonight that verse took on another meaning, God wants my Husband to be the leader of the house, and for me to let him.
If we are to take " as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and try and live it not only should the outside world see God working in our family, but our sons should see what a family is in Gods design my husband leading and me following him.
With out giving to much away, it is basically about a group of fathers that make a decision to be the kind of Fathers God has asked them to be according to scripture. It is very moving and I don't think anyone in the packed movie theater walked out the same as they walked in.
After the movie we walked to Jamba Juice for a quick treat before heading home. As we talked about the movie, my husband shared the points that hit him the most. One of which just being around isn't enough, he feels he needs to actively engage in our sons lives.
We also talked about men being the spiritual leader of the household. That is where it hit me, do I allow my husband to lead our boys? Do I actively listen to him and God when I need to take a step back? Do i push my agenda on him, instead of suggesting something and listening to how he feels about it?
I am going to take a risk and make a HUGE generalization here but I believe many women in our culture have been taught that they shouldn't have to let go of the right to run the family. We were raised to be strong independent. How can you do that when you are being submissive?
Submission is not about being a doormat, it is about knowing only one person can lead the family and God decided it was the husband. It doesn't mean you don't have a voice, it just means when someone has to make the decision and there is no agreement, the husband has to take on that responsibility. One day our husbands will stand before God and be held accountable for their families that is why they get to lead.
The main verse they use in the movie is in Joshua "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" we have always used this as the foundation for our family. We want people to know when they interact with us that we love God. Tonight that verse took on another meaning, God wants my Husband to be the leader of the house, and for me to let him.
If we are to take " as for me and my house we will serve the Lord" and try and live it not only should the outside world see God working in our family, but our sons should see what a family is in Gods design my husband leading and me following him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)